A review of...Chris Addison's sideburns

Far be it from me to criticize talented performers due to their hair style choice, but, when the choice in question is actively distracting from said performance, criticism has to be made! It was a good 5 minutes into the first time I watched one of Addison's stand-up routines before I realised that it wasn't the slightly jarring over-the-top performance style, which seemed at odds with his naturalistic role as Political adviser Ollie in 'The Thick of It', no it was the wholly unnecessary baby mutton chops crawling down his baby face. O Chris, no amount of oddly fashioned facial hair will stop you looking like a 12 year old public school boy. Into the same razor shy category I also have also to put David Tennant. A man who also employs the same level of puppy like energy in his performances, perhaps the sidies give them a Samson like energy? On no level does that mean I'd encourage any man alive to follow their example. Side burns are an exact science and, admittedly this may well be a personal hang up (though please do comment in support if you are with me) but any fashion sported by the Wurzels should be approached with extreme caution...and this is from a dye-hard country girl! Boys, you have been warned, cut them down or find yourself a combine harvester!

How to make Elderflower cordial

The above photograph is Elderflower and NOT an attention seeking imposter

Taking a break from buying or applying make-up, me and my dear friend decided to make elderflower cordial. Its easy ! so easy you should go do it NOW! Yes NOW! Go forth my friends and reap the pleasure that is making your own cordial!

What we did

We went 2 minutes down the road to my local elderflower bush. The night before we had toddled back to mine at 1am and went a bit mental every time we saw white flowers. I am going to put some pictures of the imposter plants which get you all excited and then when you get up close leave you disappointed and sad. I also don't want anyone to poison themselves.

The offenders i came across is the dreaded cow Parsely and Hawthorn tree

White flowers smells nice = elderflower. WRONG from a distance this has tricked me many a time. With Hawthorn (bottom picture)The flowers are way too big and the leaves all wrong! do not be tempted by this imposter! Cow Parsly grows on the ground. Do you think nature would make it this easy to make yummy cordial? NO its a white flower close to the ground back away!

Now i think collecting about 20-30 heads is about right.

Firstly wash them and try to get all the insects out. If you cant thats ok. We filtered ours later (use muslim or a J cloth!) to get rid of the pesky beasts. We melted sugar in a saucepan full of water. Now i put the water in first. Bad idea as this made my cordial, very watery.My advice is to add maybe a cup of water to the sugar until it has all melted and dissolved. You can always add more water!

You then need to add 3 lemons. I recommend putting the zest of one of the lemons in the sugar/water mixture and then just chop all of them up and (a little squeeze to get the juice out into the mixture might be quite cool) then add a chopped orange. Add the elderflower and leave in a cool place for 24 hours.

After this you have your cordial! i recommend keeping it in the fridge so it keeps better. I also think elderflower cordial+spirits= goodtime+no hangover (according to a very reliable source) = more goodtimes!

Enjoy!

The quest continues.....

On my travels in the consumerist retail paradise that is my local shopping centre, I do like to go to Lush. For those who have yet to frequent the unparalleled ecstasy that is going into Lush (maybe its just me that feels this way) you are missing out on all kinds of magnificent bath products which smell amazing and do what they say! (just don't sue me if you can never get the glitter/flowers/colour stains/fabric butterflies etc. out of your bath).I can tell what your thinking, where the hell is my foundation review you closet hippy???? well look no further

Lush + make-up = pretty damn good

When i saw this in Lush i was drawn to it like metal is to a magnet. I knew lush had a make-up branch business called 'B' never too busy to be beautiful' this always intrigued me, but was pretty expensive and only available on-line in the area i lived (i am sacred to buy foundation on-line encase the shade is wrong). B went bust, and i guess Lush are now integrating a bit of the old B business into the current and the not going bust Lush.

You are able to use this as a tinted moisturiser AND an all over foundation. I really like this about the product. Its multi use is something i have never really encountered before.

I went for the light pink. Colours are split in dark/light yellow (check if you have green veins!) and dark/light pink (for those who have blue veins!).

The foundation is very thick and very easy to blend. You really don't need to use alot. When i saw the size of the pot i was a bit unsure how long it would last, but I seriously I think a pot with everyday use would probably last over six months. I apply this over my moisturiser and found it sits very well on top. It is as i said very easy to blend and feels very nice and moisturising, but only in a good way not in a horrible greasy way. I was very impressed by the results on my skin. It makes me look radiant and healthy, which i personally find is a very good look.

Its really up to you how heavy you want to make it, as its quite easy to layer up. Having said that, applying to much (i would say trying to have quite heavy coverage) does lead to your face looking an odd colour. I don't want to say the dreaded O word. But hell, i cant lie. Too much and you will look a bit like you are orangey. This may be a problem only i have encountered as i am quite fair, but i would still be a bit cautious about using too much.

Staying power is pretty good, i would say it would last you from morning to early evening but you would need a touch up after that. Due to the fact it has lots of lovely things in it (rose petal and soya oil) i really felt that it was doing my skin good and at no point did i get any annoying 'its really obvious you are wearing foundation' dry bits.

It makes an excellent concealer. I know this is a controversial point but i would go as far to say.... BETTER than Yves Saint Laurent touche eclat .

So whats the verdict?

THE GOOD

• its from Lush!
• Suitable for vegans
• ingredients list doesn't read like a crazy chemical lab stock take
• the price is excellent for the quality and quantity of the product
• very easy to blend or mix with other foundation/moisturisers
• multi use
• makes you look super glowing and healthy
• would be very good for dry skin

THE BAD

• Staying power could be a bit better
• it smells a bit like cooking oil
• The texture is a bit odd
• if you have very very greasy skin or are going to be in high humidity, i think this would slide

THE UGLY

• Too much and you more than likely will look like an ompa loompa
• Range of colours is poor

The Quest for the best foundation of amazingness

For many years I like many other women have been on a quest. Yes. A quest. To call it anything else would demean the years of searching, the years of smearing various waaaaay too orange gunk on the back of my hand and the incredibly stupid amount of money i have spent. Yes finding the right foundation is something not to be taken lightly, if it was I would use a tinted moisturiser.

Let me do all the hard work for you and spare you the trauma and bitter disappointments i have experienced.

Let us begin.

Loreal True Match foundation (on average around £9.99)

Because your worth it? (for the price, hell yes!)

Now I was very dubious about this. Mostly as any product boasting the line

'super-blendable perfecting foundation MATCHES the colour and TEXTURE (?) of your skin'

is going to make me think:

1. Colour Match? i should be so lucky!

2. I don't want anything to mimic the texture of my skin EVER. I want to cover it up! damn you loreal!

In reality it is actually a very good foundation for the price tag and i find myself wearing it far more than any foundation i have bought from MAC, Chanel or any other high end brand.

The colour was very good for my pretty pale skin (W1 golden ivoy is my shade of preference)

I find it blends well over my moisturiser and gives excellent coverage. I had many compliments on how flawless my skin was when i wore this.

I would be so so careful when using this. I was very shocked at how runny the consistency is. I have lost count the number of times i have had to wipe huge amounts of excessive amounts of foundation off my hands. The bottle does have a nice little pump, to be honest if it didn't i think ease of application would diminish into 'arrrrgh' territory. Iwould definitely recommend application with a foundation brush for a very nice airbrushed look.

The lasting power is very surprising, come bed time (the few times i have actually bothered to remove my make-up) i found i still had a substantial amount on my face. As someone who recently went through a snobby 'cheap foundation is lame phase' I found myself very pleasantly surprised.In addition to this i found the foundation had a good finish. Matte but not 'oh my god i look like a crazed mannequin' good matte, which kept my nose shine free until lunch time (a rare feat).

One thing which really really bugs me about this and other loreal foundations, is that there appears to be no consistency in shades across any of there ranges. For instance i was so impressed by my true match, that i thought i would try Loreals infallible 16 hour foundation. However i couldn't find any shade that matched my true match shade, all of the shade names were different within this range. Which as you can imagine was quite frustrating. Eventually i had to settle for either a shade which was too pale or one which was too dark, which isn't a choice you want to be presented with really.

THE GOOD

• Easy to apply
• good staying power for the price
• nice finish
• doesn't feel too heavy
• good medium coverage
• a little will get you a long way.

THE BAD

• The consistency is quite runny (use sparingly!)
• didnt make me break out
• reduced shine (if you don't have very oily skin, i imagine this would be longer lasting than my experience)
• If you suffer from dry skin i would use with caution

THE UGLY

• The range of shades are shameful to be honest
• don't expect to be able to find the same shade in another loreal foundation (why loreal? whhhhhhy?)